Thursday, January 19, 2012

It's Time to Come Clean

You will notice that my weight ticker has been updated.  No, I am not closer to my milestone of losing 100 pounds.  In fact, I am a lot further away from it now.  I couldn't just keep pretending that my weight had stayed the same since August.  It's been an up and down cycle since August.  I will gain some weight and then I am able to get some back off.  Then I gain some more and get some back off.  On and on and on.....the problem is that ever since I saw that 169.8 on the scale back in August, I haven't seen it again since.  The closest I have seen is 173.  Then I went home for the holidays and completely binged out on food.  Now my weight is at 177 (it might be higher after my weigh in on Saturday because I have had a rough week).  I am ready to turn this ship around.  I have been doing a little too much of this sort of thing lately:

(Part of my brunch at Plant)

(R's ice cream birthday cake from the Hop)

(Alien cookie from Rosetta's Kitchen)

But I have a plan and a goal.  One of my New Year's resolutions is to finally hit my 100 pounds lost milestone.  I want to make that happen.  I am so close yet so far away!  Luckily, the gym I am at has a lot of 21 day challenges.  I participated in one through the holiday season and I was very successful.  My goal was to burn at least 3500 calories each week of the challenge.  I was able to burn closer to 5000....yay!  I have discovered that, for me, my problem is with my calorie intake.  My goal for the new 21 day challenge is to eat within my Weight Watchers points everyday for the 21 days of the challenge.  If I go out to eat, I have to figure it out within my points.  If we go over to someone's house or if they come over to our house, I have to figure it out.  That's life and that's how it will be for the rest of my life.  Temptations, challenges and struggles will ALWAYS be there.  I have to figure that part out because if I don't, I will gain weight back.  This is one of the those times that I remember the quote that's something like this:

"It's hard to be healthy/thin and it's hard to be overweight.  You choose your hard." 

I don't want to go back to weighing 265 pounds.  I felt terrible about myself.  I couldn't do half of the things I do now.  I was not happy and healthy.  I want to be healthy and capable of doing many things for the rest of my life.  I don't want sit on the sidelines of my life because I am not healthy enough to participate.  These are the things I need to remember when I am overcome by the desire to snack mindlessly.  I always need to remember where I came from and where I want to be.  

I will clean the slate and start the 21 day challenge begins.  21 straight days of being on plan!  Let's go!


  1. It takes a lot of courage to "come clean", but as someone who too has gained back lost weight (though mine is closer to 75 pounds over three years), I really appreciate your honesty. Some days I wish vegan desserts weren't so amazingly tasty. These days I'm replacing them with green smoothies and hitting up the gym as much as possible, but it helps to know that others are struggling too. Wishing you much luck with your New Year's resolution!!!

  2. Well done for being honest with yourself. I know how hard it is to see your ticker moving the wrong way. I'm in a very similar place to you, I know how hard it can be. Life gets in the way but working out strategies to help you through it will set you up in the long term.
    You can do this! Good luck, I know you'll feel so much better after being on track for 3 weeks.
    All the best xxx

  3. Its hard. Kudos to you for coming clean. But don't forget that 89 lbs is a lot too! Good luck to you for hitting the 100lb mark this year.

    I saw your weight loss ticker and wanted one on my blog too. But I can't get it to publish. The "add a gadget" rejects the URL that myfitnesspal generated. Any tips?

  4. VTM-If I remember corectly, I just created it through My Fitness Pal and they created some long "address" thing that I had to paste onto the blog "gadget." I am not sure was confusing!